Who Is In the Mood to Keep it Real?
Of Your Poor Attitudes, Explain Which 3 You Dislike Most and WHY...and How They Negatively Impact Your Brand
There are many reasons we have poor attitudes, reasons vary from unrealistic expectations to unhealthy comparisons to other people, leading to low self-esteem. Whatever the origin, a bad attitude can and will ultimately negatively impact your brand.
So, let's get to keeping it real. There are times for sure when I have a poor attitude. Although I am generally self-aware and thwart the negative head space, I am not immune.
Here are my 3 poor attitudes and how they negatively impact my brand:
I am interested, I experience my emotions and I all myself to feel.
Indifference is a coping mechanism I first adopted as a child to reduce the pain of rejection and disappointment. From a child's mind, being raised by grandmothers was interpreted by me, to mean my parents didn't want me. Of course that wasn't true. I didn't understand in my generation many of us had parents who migrated from the southern states to the northern and had to work very hard to earn the better life they were seeking. My dad was in the Navy, so he was always gone and that reinforced my beliefs. I learned apathy in order to convince myself being alone didn't matter and the absence of my parents mattered less.
I was a sensitive child and easy to emotionally attach. As an only child I was often lonely and felt isolated. As a result, I worked hard to get friends. I overextended myself to maintain relationships. For the most part, my kind spirit and loving heart gained me some amazing long term relationships. Unfortunately, these traits are also a recipe for abuse. After a few bad breakups and a failed marriage, I soon became an expert at saying good-bye. Once, I put up those guards, it's like a fortress. There is no getting in.
Apathy, being guarded and maintaining distance are what I dislike the most about myself because it does not accurately reflect my true feelings. I am really an emotional person, generally too much for my own good. I am especially in tune greatly to the emotion of others. So much so that I have been told repeatedly that I am an empath. Over the years I have come to understand my tendency for apathy is my way of protecting my self from emotion-overload. It has always been easy for me to attach and experience the emotions of others and difficult for me to let go so putting in some distance.
Apathy negatively impacts my brand because it sometimes caused me conflict in the way I manage client relationships. What does this look like? Many years ago when I was just starting out as consultant, I had to manage every aspect of my business myself. So, I'd have clients who were also just starting out, they were excited, they were hopeful and they were green. Their lack of experience in business made it difficult for me to keep them engaged in the process of fulfilling their goals.
As the reality sets in, budding entrepreneurs begin to understand it's a lot of work! The more tasks they must do the faster their enthusiasm fades. I found my chasing them. There were so many times I found myself more committed to the client's business growth than they were. In fact, I would be broken hearted when they gave up or folded under pressure. I had to learn how to distance myself, release attachment to their dream and realize their business success was rooted in their effort, not mine.
What I named, "keeping it professional," was really coded language for apathy. I not only became distant, I became good at turning off my interest. If I made request for documents for example three times, that was it. I'd send an email to make sure I was covered and I'd move on to the next project. I didn't show empathy. I didn't show interest and I disengaged. Checking out caused me to fail to serve clients with excellence.
Being guarded, indifference and showing apathy didn't serve me well because clients perceived me as cold and uncaring. So unlike me.
Overtime, I learned how to balance commitment to my client's success. I put measures in place to prevent me from becoming personally attached in an unhealthy way. I do a better job of qualifying clients to ensure their commitment and to determine if they have the grit to keep pushing, even when it's hard. I am much better at partnering with clients, staying connected and working closely without taking on their emotions. Now, I am emotionally engaged in a way that makes for amazing mutually beneficial working relationships. I am proud of my personal growth.
Now it's your turn, what are 3 of your poor attitudes and how does it negatively affect your brand or life?