And don't give me the standard answer, "I'm fine." I won't accept it. I want to know how you're really feeling? How's your mood lately? How's your emotional health? Are you feeling secure? Whole? Happy? Enthusiastic? Are you OK? I mean really OK? When is the last time you laughed out loud?
Let me ask you, is your life bringing you joy? How are your days lately? Do you feel fulfilled? I hear so many of my sisters, friends and clients complain that they feel stuck, overwhelmed, and stressed. They don't feel upward and forward moving. They have become stuck in tasks, routines in a perpetual state of emptiness. This often leads to moments of profound anxiety and sadness. Has this been your experience? Can you relate?
Have you ever had the sudden, (or gradual) realization that you are living life on autopilot. No passion. No joy. Just going through the motions of life. If you've answered yes or if my words resonate in anyway, keep reading...
Rewriting your story means trying to find meaning in your life that propels you to be your best self. It means having the courage to change the narrative. Reframing your narrative means finding power in your own stories so that you can live in peace, joy, and fulfillment.
There was a space when I too found myself asking, "what on earth am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Why I am so unhappy?" I ask myself the above questions because it was time for me to figure out what's going on in my life. I am a thinker, so all I had to do was process these questions, and everything would be fine. When I asked myself, if I felt fulfilled, happy, secure and excited about my life, I answered with a resounding, NO. So, the next question I asked myself was, "what am I feeling?" The answer was mostly NOTHING.I'm busy, I have things to do. I didn't have time for feelings. If I'm honest, and willing to admit it, I felt apathy. At times, I easily detached myself from emotions, in fact, I was mostly indifferent in most areas of my life. After investing some time with myself, I've come to understand the casual way that I moved through life and relationships was a defense mechanism; it was my way of protecting myself. Indifference was my shield of choice. Unfortunately, the nonchalant way that I lived my life had not served me well. It's thwarted my personal growth and prohibited me from living an authentic, loving, brilliantly bold life. But why? The next questions on the journey: Why was I like this and how did I get here? This is the point where I kicked into auto-drive to explain my whys and hows. I could swiftly recount the negative experiences that got me there. Boy, could I tell myself some stories that would make it all clear. I could reach back in my memory and account for every pain, heartache, disappointment, and betrayal. I understood, I didn't tell myself these stories as an excuse but rather to serve as an explanation. Either way, the stories that I told myself, hurt me.
Whether you are conscious of it or not, somewhere along the way you have developed your own life stories. They have become the lenses in which you view everything in your life. They are the filters that you use to see options and make choices. Your life stories are a culmination of the stories that you tell yourself based on your experiences, and/or how you recall significant moments in your mind. The stories that you tell yourself provide a unique insight into your subconscious mind including your ambitions, desires, hope and goals. Unfortunately, these stories also include your insecurities, shame, and fear. Your stories are your personal histories, marked with the good, the bad and the ugly. They define your life. They define who you are and how you value yourself.
Our connection with storytelling begins when we are children, and continues long into adulthood. From assigning meaning to past events, to editing out the things that don’t fully match our narratives, the stories we tell ourselves can have a huge impact on our daily lives . Stories affect how we present and interact with others - and both, influence how we treat ourselves, how we treat the people in our lives AND how we expect to be treated. Stories impact how we move in the world and accept our place within it. Stories determine if we choose to be both seen, and heard. The stories we tell ourselves are so important that they affect our sense of worthiness AND if we practice self-love, or not. They determine if we prioritize our needs and desires. Our self-told stories also impact the beliefs we each have about ourselves, and what beliefs we accept from other people.
While it’s good to have stories, sometimes, they may be skewed or completely false. Sometimes the stories that we hold on to reinforce shame from our poor choices, or embarrassment for our mistakes. Perhaps your stories have you stuck on what you mother did or what your father didn't do, the childhood bully, the failed exam, or the cheating boyfriend, the betrayal of a dear friend or a failure of any kind...either way our stories we tell ourselves often reinforce false narratives and limiting beliefs that keep us stuck, or in my case, apathetic.
The stories that you tell yourself may not be serving you well either. Rewriting these stories will allow you to begin the journey to live a happier, more fulfilled life. NOTE: Rewriting your stories doesn't mean telling yourself lies or denying your truths. Rewriting is about making a shift in the energy and the perspective that keeps you in a negative space.
It's time to share
You know when you meet someone new and you feel synergy with that person. There's a vibe. It's exciting. You're interested in their story and you are looking forward to hearing all the experiences that shaped their life. When it's time to share, where do you begin?
Your go-to story
What's stories do you share about your childhood? Your parents? How do you describe yourself? How do you explain your drama, trauma, and hardships? What stories do you tell others that serve as a roadmap to bring your new friend up-to-speed with your current space in life? What's the story that you always share?
I'm doing unscientific research. I'm curious if you share more about your successes and your celebrations - or do you share more about the challenges and pain?
If you are curious about how many false stories you are telling about yourself or you already know that you have a few that aren't serving you well. If you would like to walk with me to learn how to rewrite your life's stories.
If you are ready to take control of your thoughts and start leading from your authentic truth, sign up for the course now.
Sign up today, and let's start the journey to learn:
It's my intention to share my stories to help others, just like you to experience the freedom of living your authentic truth. If you're ready for joy, register now for the Breaking the Cycle, How to stop negative stories from defining your life.
You no longer have an excuse to continue telling those stories that do not serve you well. Release them. Give yourself permission to heal, and lets' start living our authentic truths free and joy-filled.